There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were destined to go to rehab together
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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