i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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