Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize