The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
