i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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