Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize