I want to stick my p in your. b.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
