check it out our google latitudes are spooning
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
