I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
