Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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