Who wears a wallet chain?!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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