She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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