id be glad to
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
