My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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