he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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