She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
