My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
