CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
