Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
