But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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