She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Gay?
German.
Pity.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
