I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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