He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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