I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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