I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
