what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize