Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
