On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
