i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
that may or may not have been my penis.
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