She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
