Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
