And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
