3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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