she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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