I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
