puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
