I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
