FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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