If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
