carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
