Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
