in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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