She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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