Sponge bath it is.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
