I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its not stalking. its research.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
