Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
