We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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