Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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