i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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