Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
