you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just puked most of my soul out..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
