I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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