its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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