Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
