ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
