oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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