i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
