ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
